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| Author: | tragic guardian [ Mon Nov 26, 2012 11:16 am ] |
| Blog Subject: | Another dream, and a friend |
I had another dream the other night, but i hardly remember. But it was strange, and i wish i knew if it actually meant anything. But there were other alters there, of mine, and mostly i remember one, i believe it was a young girl, and she spoke to me. I forget what she said though. Doesn't mean i have more alters that are just undiscovered, but thought it was interesting otherwise. Also, Duke was triggered, by his own pride/vanity, to speak to a friend of mine. She also had some touches of experience with DID, which is interesting. Duke was mostly checking her out, and he approved, to a point. There was intensity flowing through him as he was out, i could feel it. And my/our hands were freezing cold throughout and after the experience. But i think he rather enjoyed the talking at least. He's been wanting someone to speak too. He almost was able to come out again during a conversation earlier, but i'm not sure he'd have come out if he was able. Either way, she left before the chance appeared, and i think he was upset at it. Either way, it's nice that the both of us can be comfortable to speak with this person. Also lately i've been tempted to tell my other friend (whom i see in real life) about us. I'm terribly nervous though. She would understand, maybe not totally what DID is and such, but be accepting more so at least. I guess i'm looking for the right time. Still, just the thought of telling makes me tremble. |
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| Author: | tragic guardian [ Thu Nov 15, 2012 5:07 am ] |
| Blog Subject: | Songs |
Wow, nice blog title. Ridiculous. Anyways, was listening to some great songs that I thought Rex might like, haha. From my perspective. Pretty neat actually. First is 'Sweating Bullets' by Megadeth "Sweating Bullets" Hello me... Meet the real me And my misfit way of life A dark black past is my Most valued possession Hindsight is always 20-20 But looking back it's still a bit fuzzy Speak of mutually assured destruction? Nice story...Tell it to Reader's Digest! {Feeling paranoid True enemy or false friend? Anxiety's attacking me, and My air is getting thin I'm in trouble for the things I haven't got to yet I'm chomping at the bit and my Palms are getting wet, sweating bullets} Hello me...It's me again You can subdue, but never tame me It gives me a migraine headache Thinking down to your level Yea, just keep on thinking it's my fault And stay an inch or two outta kicking distance Mankind has got to know His limitations {Feeling claustrophobic Like the walls are closing in Blood stains on my hands and I don't know where I've been I'm in trouble for the things I haven't got to yet I'm sharpening the axe, and my Palms are getting wet, sweating bullets} Well, me...It's nice talking to myself A credit to dementia Some day you too will know my pain And smile it's black tooth grin If the war inside my head Won't take a day off I'll be dead My icy fingers claw your back Here I come again! {Feeling paranoid True enemy or false friend? Anxiety's attacking me, and And my air is getting thin Feeling claustrophobic Like the walls are closing in Blood stains on my hands and I don't know where I've been} Once you committed me Now you've acquitted me Claiming validity For your stupidity I'm chomping at the bit I'm sharpening the axe Here I come again, whoa! Sweating bullets http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBCrmKbmdsE The parts in these "{ }" symbols represent Rex's POV. Here's another song, 'Sad But True' by Metallica Hey I'm your life I'm the one who takes you there Hey I'm your life I'm the one who cares They They betray I'm your only true friend now They They'll betray I'm forever there I'm your dream, make you real I'm your eyes when you must steal I'm your pain when you can't feel Sad but true I'm your dream, mind astray I'm your eyes while you're away I'm your pain while you repay You know it's sad but true Sad but true You You're my mask You're my cover, my shelter You You're my mask You're the one who's blamed Do Do my work Do my dirty work, scapegoat Do Do my deeds For you're the one who's shamed I'm your dream, make you real I'm your eyes when you must steal I'm your pain when you can't feel sad but true I'm your dream, mind astray I'm your eyes while you're away I'm your pain while you repay You know it's sad but true Sad but true I'm your dream I'm your eyes I'm your pain I'm your dream I'm your eyes I'm your pain You know it's sad but true Hate I'm your hate I'm your hate when you want love Pay Pay the price Pay, for nothing's fair Hey I'm your life I'm the one who took you here Hey I'm your life And I no longer care I'm your dream, make you real I'm your eyes when you must steal I'm your pain when you can't feel sad but true I'm your truth, telling lies I'm your reasoned alibis I'm inside open your eyes I'm you Sad but true http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8BRbM52gpc I like this one a lot, so much of it is so true and Rex knows it. This one makes him kind of nervous. 'Pain and Pleasure' by Judas Priest I wanna tell ya, hey I think you oughta know The way you're treating me, I feel I'll have ta go I've heard the rumours and it seems they're comin' true You do what suits ya, but then that's nothin' new Do what you wanna do Oh what you put me through How I suffer for your love Say what you wanna say You know that you're gonna pay For all the times that I've cried You give me pain, but you bring me pleasure Get out of my life You bring me pain, but you give me pleasure Don't know what... [ Continued ] |
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| Author: | tragic guardian [ Mon Nov 12, 2012 6:26 am ] |
| Blog Subject: | BPD |
I'm pretty certain one of us has BPD, but for some reason when i go to think about it, i can't distinguish who has it. I don't know if it's because my bad memory (especially short term) or just a blurry mind, but i can't tell. Maybe it's normal, for atleast some, for their alters to sort of blend together. Or maybe it's just me, for the reasons i said. Or maybe it's because we are so alike? But it's hard to even tell that. We don't have problems reading other people, we're really good at that, but when it comes to something like this, it's difficult. I can't seem to distinguish anything between us, and it's frustrating. It's hard for me to tell what thoughts are mine or his sometimes. I wish this could be fixed somehow, and cleared up. I wonder if anyone else experiences this, and/or knows how to help. I just get shy to post on the forums sometimes, especially so often. Plus Duke always gets on my case if it gets no replies, if someone tells me someone's already posted something similar, if there are replies but no help, etc. So a double-edged sword i guess. |
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